SF Pride – Part One, So Much Nudity

Ok, quick intro before I start telling these stories. Warning to locals, I use the term Frisco as a habit. Supposedly it offends you guys, but as somebody who trips on her words often, I like to use names with minimal syllables, and it translates into my writing.

An abbreviated timeline goes something like this: Saturday after, got on bus. Spent a couple hours wandering around Frisco trying to find the party. Sat in Castro waiting for the fun to start and for my cousin to get into town. Got to the major park, whose name I forget, right as the people were leaving to parade down to Castro. People started getting drunk and fighting around nine. Found my cousin around ten. Had the craziest five hours of my life. Slept on her couch in Santa Cruz. Went home.

Yeah, I didn’t even get to go the monstertruckfuckin parade and this shit was crazy. So, even though I still haven’t written about my trip to Oakland, or much on my last trip to Frisco, or written that review of the porn I bought in Frisco, I’m going to write about pride. There’s about seven parts I’m detailing, in chronological order, and I haven’t decided if I’m going to spread them out through the next week or just dump them all today. We’ll see how I’m feeling, I’m still sore as shit from those heels and a little exhausted from the drinking. Yes, it’s two days later.

Ok, let’s begin!

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When my cousin, who we’ll call Kay, was telling me about her trip to SF Pride the year before, she summarized Castro with “everybody’s naked … This one guy was only wearing a Santa hat, and we were like wtf dude it’s July!” So I tried to keep a naked count.

The first penis I counted may not actually count. Did you know there’s a non profit organization, aimed at testing for curable venereal diseases like syphilis, whose mascot is a guy in a penis costume? I watched people take pictures with this man for two or three hours. I would have gotten a picture with him myself if I had a camera.

The rest of the penises, not a single one was under fifty five. I wish in summarizing Castro, Kay had mentioned that the guy wearing a Santa hat was likely Santa himself. I was excited to see some young hot peen that I can never touch because gay men are gay, to discover that it was old kind of scary peen. It occurred to me after awhile, of course it’s this way! People my age give a shit what others think!

The count was around sixteen dicks. Ugh thank God the naked women were hotter. I saw a surprising amount of tittie.

Including my cousin and two of her friends sucking on a transvestite titties. Ohhh talk about awkward family bonding. And please don’t ask how two tits were shared between three women.

There was one more dick, but that story was much later in the night.

~ by Stefani Vonne on 06/27/2011.