An Intro to my Pornographic Beliefs

My main belief, which fuels all the work I want to put into this, and the work I have put into this and you just haven’t seen yet: is that pornography is an educational tool.

I hear parents gasping across the internets. I’m aware of what this means in society these days.

It means one has a young child who has not been taught sex, they innocently look around the internet, and they are shown pornography or they find it. And this is how they’re introduced to sex. No education of societal implications, no education on the emotional aspects, just plain no holds barred sex. Usually a poor depiction of what it really entails, too.

On the other hand, this is how it went for me, and what I believe is, in part, an ideal.

I have been a part of a continual sexual education course since I was three years old. My teachers, their sources, and their administrators have been my family and their high school and college educations.  I was never given crude details, I was never violated and, most importantly, I was made to feel even at a young age in control of my sexuality; although I also knew some people could simply outdo me in pure strength, I knew there was no act I had to consent to, no matter what the circumstances.  Since I was assaulted at a very young age, it was possibly more important that this be instilled in me than other children, though I think ALL kids should know this.

I was able to dodge further emotional assaults with that knowledge.

Really, the number one way I learned about sex, my body, and how things worked for me individually, was masturbation. Obviously, there’s no way to get a person to do that, but having a good two years with my body alone before I was exposed to pornography and another year before other people sexually really formed my sexuality in a positive way.

When pornography finally entered my life, it was more about learning how my brain worked as a sexual organ. As I write in my next entry, it allowed me to connect with what turned me on, what turned me off, and in an unexpected twist, my expectations of society as a woman and feminist.

I think even if the situation is neither, and I think this third one is what’s most common, is that people use pornography as a tool to learn what makes the act of sex itself pleasurable (well, I mean, secondary as a tool for cumming). And they’re being taught wrong. No matter how one views it, no matter what the intent of it is, no matter if one is even okay with it, pornography is a societal tool to teach sex.

Not only do I believe it teaches sex, but with many a Loveline episode as my source, I know that it cements turn-ons and turn-offs in the youth of society. I’ve written on this in a future post so I don’t want to go on about it too much, but it does explain the differences between the turn-ons of the men of the 50s and the men of now.

I believe that pornography is male-centric, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be.  I also believe that the only way to change that is for women to be brave enough to get their hands dirty and fix it. When I say “get their hands dirty” I do not mean literally, because there’s tons of behind the camera work to be done, as well as behind the computer. Money and where one spends it speaks volumes.

I don’t believe that the only reason a woman would want to get into porn is because it’s a last resort, or because society makes her feel that she has to for the money. I do, however, think way more women get into pornography because the money is amazing than because they want to. I believe, maybe idealistically, that the world can be a place that is both accepting of women and accepting of women who choose to be sex workers; and in fact, I do believe that’s the only way that works.

I guess a note to end on, so we can just get to the fun, more in depth stuff. I finally believe that women who choose to be sex workers do not choose this because they are only good at sex and nothing else. I do not believe that being a sex savant is even possible. I think people choose to work in the sex industry the same reason they choose music, or biology, or medical work. Yes, not EVERYBODY chooses it because the work make them happy, some are naturally inclined and money talks. However, there are people who do it because it makes them happy. With musicians, biologists, doctors, authors, actors, painters, etc. we never as a society have an attitude that people do these things because it’s all the skills they had in life. We acknowledge that these people are whole, three dimensional beings, but not sex workers.

If you find that you do have this attitude of sex workers, ask yourself, why?

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~ by Stefani Vonne on 01/05/2011.

2 Responses to “An Intro to my Pornographic Beliefs”

  1. Great post and I think your outlook on porn is realistic and healthy.

  2. […] An Intro to My Pornographic Beliefs […]

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