What’s Wrong With Porn? Part One.

My answer to this question is complex, I think. More complex than the answers of the women in my family, anyway (which goes something like “it exists!”).  So I’m going to break it down into parts that can be fixed.  I’m going to write on how I think these can be fixed in a second entry, but I want to stress that the answer is NOT to remove it from existence; mainly, because this is an impossible feat. The War on Porn is like the War on Drugs, war between religions, or War on Stupid. Sorry, they’re all sticking around.

Note that I’m referring to easily accessible mainstream pornography. If you know of sites that are exceptions to these points I’m going to make, please share! Having better options is some of the solution.

1.       It’s fake.

Now some argue that porn is supposed to be on some level unobtainable. It’s a fantasy. I don’t think this is true. I think that even if it were true, it doesn’t change that the women working in it are real people.

When I say porn is fake I mean that in two different ways, both equally damaging to society.

First, I mean the aesthetics of these women; fake breasts, fake lips, fake hair, fake tans. I’ve seen many a woman in porn one day have a beautiful body with small breasts, and six weeks later be fully recovered from surgery with breasts that don’t sit, move, or function the way real big tits do. I’ve also seen a few women in porn one day have beautiful bodies with B or C cups and then add onto them, which definitely shows how unfortunate this trend is.

I am not fully against body modification surgeries. As somebody with tattoos and piercings, I can’t be, I am aware of the hypocrisy.  I do, however, think there’s a difference between a woman wanting bigger breasts and a woman feeling like she has to have bigger breasts, which is a problem not only in pornography but in American culture in general.

As I stated I was using the term “fake” with a double meaning. This second meaning may be even more important than the first, and it is even a sort of continuing theme with the rest of my points.

These women become fake with their own sexual pleasure.

They cum without clitoral stimulation because hey its is an overrated mass of nerves right? They start fine without lubrication or foreplay, because they are always aroused beings. Or, one that especially sticks from when I first started viewing porn, lesbians enjoy being fingered by women with long fake fingernails. (See what I did there? I brought the two sub points together.)

I have a story with that last example that explains in part why these are so detrimental. I was sitting in my best friend at the time’s room, I was about fifteen or sixteen. I had my computer and we were watching some Jenna Jameson compilation her boyfriend at the time burned for her. (Ah, how teenage boys know the ins and outs of true romance.) We got to this one scene we watched and in parts mocked, of all of Jameson’s fallen angels fucking in a mass lesbian orgy. We got to the bit of this woman being fingered by a woman with long fake acrylic nails. She moaned and groaned and had no problems.

I turned to my friend. “How can she like that?”

She turned back to me. “Of course she’s faking it!”

“But …”

Something clicked. I couldn’t understand the idea of faking it, risking my own comfort and health, for this sexual fantasy. Meanwhile, my friend couldn’t understand the idea of NOT faking it.

I believe this is part of the female half of the damage that porn can do when not executed properly in a society. Women are taught at a very young age that it is all about the male’s pleasure and you do whatever.

The male half I think would surprise some. Porn is very much based on men getting off on female pleasure. It’s why women moan and scream when they have penis in them. It’s why women say things like “I love sucking your cock.” If it was thought for a moment that their women were not having fun, they would no longer be having fun. Yet, they’re being taught how to pleasure us WRONG.

Men think they don’t need correcting, women don’t think they want correcting.

In saying this, I’m not saying that women as individuals aren’t fans of some of the most common things in pornography: giving oral sex, rough sex, anal sex, etc. However, the most common thing in real life is never shown in pornography: that each woman’s sexuality is different and unpredictable, and actually a lot of the fun in sex can be putting together the puzzle that is an individual woman’s sexuality. We’re like snowflakes: horny, horny snowflakes. Some of us not so horny, some of us more horny. Okay, I think this point has been beaten in now.

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~ by Stefani Vonne on 01/12/2011.

One Response to “What’s Wrong With Porn? Part One.”

  1. […] What’s Wrong With Porn? Part One […]

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