What’s Wrong With Porn? Part Three.

3.       Pornography Takes Too Big a Page Out of Mainstream Media

When it comes to how women should look. The sad truth is, they don’t have to do this. Pornography is the underground mainstream. Pornography has its effects on societies and norms without having to adhere to the rules of current taste, or rather what the mainstream wants our current tastes to be. Yet, it does. Girls that look like the girls I associate with, that I love, the tattoos and the piercings and the wild hair, they end up on alt sites and underground sites and maybe sometimes BDSM sites but they’re rarely ever on BangBros or Brazzers. It’s treated almost like their look is a fetish, even though their look is one of the most common of my generation.

Yet fake breasts are on every third porn star.

They idolize unrealistic body images, and thus those who watch are made to idolize unrealistic body images. Is this pornography’s effect on media, or media’s effect on pornography? Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

I recently saw Eat, Pray, Love (awesome feminist movie, I think. See it if you can) and there was a part in there that spoke to me as a woman who has had a little pudge since puberty.

The quote goes something like, “how many men have you had in your bed, intimately? How many were disappointed and left, disgusted at your fat, at your lack of tone? None, right? There is a naked woman in the same room with them, they are in heaven.”

So the problem with this, when we try to apply this thought to pornography, is the concept of fantasy returns to the discussion. “Yeah, maybe when the woman is in front of him and there is an emotional bond, or a realistic limit on what he can get from a bar, he has no problems. What he dreams of, however, can be whatever he wants.”

I’m going to present a concept to argue this.

It’s been proven that, although the seeds of sexuality are laid in us before we even form memories, that they can be molded into final flowers, at least with men, around thirteen or fourteen. The difference in sexual appeals can be seen generation-to-generation. My father’s is aroused in overwhelming numbers by nudity, pin-ups, the suggestive, etc. Why? It’s because when my father’s generation first discovered what their penises could do, they could get their hands on Playboy, but not much else. My boyfriend’s generation, on the other hand, is aroused in overwhelming numbers by anal sex. Why?  It’s because the pornography world was at their mouse click before they even knew what their penis could do, and anal was just starting to become big in the porn world.

Much as pornography is a learning tool, pornography is a molder of culture, of taste.

Can you imagine if my son’s generation was into real women? Real women who possess intelligence, power, control over their sexuality, and curves of a healthy weight; real lips, real tits, and real orgasms?

Wouldn’t that be a great gift to give our children, male and female?

Hey folks! So on Friday I’m taking a day trip to Oakland, California. Those of you familiar with Oakland are probably thinking something to the effect of, “dear God why would you do that?” Oakland is the home of Mills College, an all girls university. I think for most people, the term all girls school brings mental images of socially and sexually conservative catholic schools. Mills College, in truth, is more like what people fantasize girls schools to be: filled to the brim with hot liberal lesbians. So I’ve been told, at least.

I’m going for two reasons. Reason one, it’s a school I’m briefly considering when I get into my Bachelor’s. Reason two, and the reason which I’m informing my blogland, is they are doing a lecture on sex positivity. Not just any lecture though, a lecture with speakers like Jiz Lee (genderqueer pornstar), Dossie Easton (author of The Ethical Slut, a book on my wishlist), and Shilo McCabe (awesome photographer). There’s more too, but with my current knowledge those are the three coolest.

So my intention is to go, be totally immersed, think about Jiz Lee naked as often as I can while still paying attention, and take lots of notes and let you guys know how it goes. I am insanely excited. I bought the bus tickets today. I’m going somewhere all by myself where a bunch of people are gonna talk about sexy time. Did I mention I’m excited? And that Jiz Lee will be there? Okay enough of that.

Point is, not everybody can get to Oakland, but I’m sure lots of folks are curious and have questions. So today and Friday’s post I will be soliciting questions to ask. I’ve already asked a couple. Because I’m awesome. Awesomely excited. So if you have questions to ask any of the panelists, just post them and I’ll pass them on.

Jiz Lee; Dossie Easton; Charlie Glickman; Carol Queen; Shilo McCabe; Kester Rambles; and Krista Smith aka The Kentucky Fried Woman.

Also! I would like to encourage all of you to add my facebook, twitter, and post questions to my formspring.

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~ by Stefani Vonne on 01/19/2011.

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