S-L-U-T

Slut.

Slut is a word that has become so overused it no longer really means anything.

Were you gang-raped? You were most likely a slut who had it coming. Are you in porn? You are such a dirty slut, and you probably have a couple venereal disease. Do you sleep with all your guy friends? You are a slut who has been passed around by big, charming men. Do you persistently feel pressured into sexual situations you’re not comfortable with by men? You’re a slut who should practice saying no occasionally. Is a woman jealous of you? You’re only perceived by society as better than her because you put out, slut.

It no longer means anything, yet it means so very much.

When I was a kid, I looked up slut in the dictionary to find that it meant a maid.  If I find that dictionary in our things again, I will present photographic evidence. Now, it means “a dirty, slovenly woman” or “an immoral woman”.

I find it interesting that a word that means something so serious and harsh gets thrown around the way it does, both in media and in daily interactions.

Even I am not perfect on this. Now, I’m prone to using words in jest despite (or because of?) my liberalness. My favorite words amongst friends include fag, slut, whore, and retard. Also midget, but that’s less about broad offensiveness and more about offending my friend who is actually a little person.

It takes A LOT though for me to use those words to seriously describe a person or their behavior, and with slut specifically, it’s only been twice. Time one, I was fifteen and harsh on a friend I had an on and off friendship with. Time two, involves the recent history of another friend of mine who uses sex to hurt people emotionally; namely a guy who is madly in love with her, by sleeping with his friends.

I can never say that a word should be removed from cultural acceptance, removed from our vocabularies en masse, because I love all words, and insulting friends with words that don’t fit is my favorite friendly pastime. I think, however, that we need to seriously reconsider our usage of it.

So may I present, The Rules to Slut Usage.

1)      If you are jealous of a girl for a reason that does not involve her stealing your boyfriend, this is not a good enough reason to call her a slut. Maybe, as women, instead of letting jealousy of other girls get the better of us, we should do something totally crazy and just call them out on it. “Hey, girl, I am jealous of you. I feel like you do better in crowds, I feel like you’re prettier than me, so-and-so has your attention and not mine. I am jealous, take it as a compliment.” Either she will surprise you back and express humility and a friendship can be formed, or she won’t and we have a whole other word for that: bitch.

2)      If a girl is accusing somebody of rape, even if it turns out she was not raped, SOCIETY CANNOT CALL HER A SLUT. A girl never, ever, EVER has a rape coming. It is never deserved. She is never easy enough. She is never dirty enough. She is never bitchy enough. She is never weak enough. If a girl is accusing a person of rape and no rape happened, SHE IS STILL NOT A SLUT. There is a bigger problem going on in her life, and society needs to support her as much as the innocent male.

3)      If we’re going to discuss a girl who works in the sex industry, whether it’s stripping, pornography, or prostitution, slut should not be used as a word to … well, slut-shame her. It should be a title proudly held by all workers, male, female, or somewhere in the middle of the spectrum; for they are one of the only people the word actually is meant for. However, this work is not a BAD thing. Almost everybody loves pornography, so somebody’s gotta love making it.

4)      If a girl uses her sexuality to hurt people (without their consent), she is a slut. She’s basically the only kind of girl, in my mind, that falls into the “immoral women” category on a sexual level. Maybe though, instead of us all coming together and calling her a slut, we should figure out what’s wrong with her self-esteem and psychology that she thinks that’s what sex is used for; and probably realize that a lot of the blame falls on us.

So yeah, I’d love to see/participate in discussion on this.

By the way, my ranting on this is inspired by this:

http://feministing.com/2011/03/09/why-did-we-even-get-out-of-bed-this-morning/

No, the article itself that they’re talking about never flat out calls the eleven year old girl a slut, but if I described an often times yellow bird with webbed feet, a bill instead of a beak, who liked water and quacked, we’d all know I was calling it a duck. Related fact, ducks breed by gang rape; now, those are some sluts who had it coming.

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~ by Stefani Vonne on 03/09/2011.

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