People Bother Me.

Don’t forget to vote on my poll about what posts you’d like to see more of in 2012. (Note: one reader wrote in the vote “robots”. I don’t know how, but I will make this happen at least once.)

A man I know from my first college posted about a death. While I feel for his loss, like I would any person’s, his metaphor was weak, unfitting, and an excellent mirror to his often fractured mental state. It reminded me of the crazy I was relieved to push from my life.

A girl I know, in a happy relationship with an ex of mine, posted that he was one of the strongest people she knew. Her reply is what led me to his post in the first place. And this left an odd, sickly feeling in my stomach. For this man once attempted to rape her closest friend, and also an ex of my ex’s.

Not only did I question how strong the man really is (as I said, I consider him mighty mentally unstable) but I questioned why she even had a close enough relationship to him to deem him anything. As I think I mentioned the last time I spoke on this man, this happened early in his melding with our group, and he was never once rejected for it – except by me, and obviously the girl who barely escaped his actions.

What the hell is this? An implication that somehow she was lying? An idea that somehow his company is better than hers (I don’t know, do you enjoy spending time with rapists)? A notion that because the two girls are no longer close that he no longer need to be avoided “for her sake”? A belief that because it was only an attempt it was not so serious an action, thus forgivable? Or simply a development over time based on sheer apathy to the fact that a man sexually attacked a woman half his size with chronic health problems?

When I think about it, I realize that it’s pretty much the same in my own experience. None of my friends that know my violator think I’m lying, in fact one girl knows from her own experiences that it’s true; yet nobody desires to push him out of their circle or confront him on what happened (including the one girl herself). There was talk of immature revenge, but it didn’t even go that far. Just talks for a laugh, while meanwhile his actions have caused serious and not funny damage.

What is wrong with these people that they need to befriend known rapists? Does anybody have an answer for me? Even if it’s rooted in a notion that rapists are not necessarily serial rapists (a notion that is false, I might add) I still don’t understand it.

In a world where a person can be judged poorly based on their voluntary sexual conduct, their clothing, whether or not they wear make-up, their body size, their eating portions, their taste in movies, their taste in music, their parenting skills, their desire to not have children at all, their kinks, being a virgin, being a different gender, being a different race, not having a gender, who they marry, what they find attractive, their eyes, their nose, their tits, their fake tits, their piercings, their tattoos, their toes, their hands, and God knows what else nobody seems to be judging two men for their non-consensual and, in one case, violent act on a weaker human?! Fucking excuse me?!

(note: I made some edits based on conversation had after my posting here. Even though I don’t use names, I’m not comfortable with the fact that I specifically said something happen when it turned out to only be a close call. Much like we make a distinction between murder and attempted murder, there is a difference between being raped and somebody attempting to rape you and failing. No, it does not change the point of this post at all, but I changed some language so I’d feel like my bases were covered.)

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~ by Stefani Vonne on 12/19/2011.

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